Hypocrisy

So, I had a interesting thought last night. I was getting dinner set for Mary Kate and getting her some milk that she had demanded. I stopped her and made her ask nicely and say please, which she did. As I was thinking ahead at what needed to happen the rest of the evening in order to put both kids down to bed, my mind went through a checklist:

• feed them
• bathe them
• get them in their pjs
• stories
• bible stories
• use the bathroom, brush teeth, wash hands and face
• tuck in bed
• say prayers
• sing songs
  
• kisses and hugs

As I was doing that my mind stopped on Bible Stories and I thought "these days I end up reading Mary Kate's simplified children's bible more than my own Bible". The thought stopped me in my tracks. What had started as a simple observation now rattled me to my core. Why? I know why: with two young children, one of which is completely reliant on me for EVERY need, and a husband who, albeit is amazing and helps me out in unbelievable ways, is a full time student and a full time employee I find it hard to carve out the time in my hectic day to read my Bible and even pray. That is not an excuse for my lack of personal time with God, only my explanation of what hinders me. I started to think about all of the other things I am teaching my daughter and prioritizing as healthy habits she should form that I don't always practice myself. How many times do I demand Mike or even Mary Kate to do something or get me something with out so much as a please and sometimes a thank you. How can I expect MK to ask nicely and say please and thank you if she doesn't see and hear me doing the same. How often do I fall asleep without saying a prayer and yet I stress it as an important part of our bedtime routine with MK. I could go on. Needless to say I feel like a hypocrit right now, and in many ways I am. So last night, I turned off the tv and opened the Bible and made time. I made time for God and I made time for me. It was great and amazing. As I was opening my heart to God, and sharing all of what I just shared with you, I started to realize something. It isn't something new, just something that God brought to the surface. It is more important for me to live my life in a way that mirrors the behaviors and habits I want for MK than to just teach her what to do. It sounds simple, but it encompases EVERYTHING! From eating habits, to excersize habits, to spiritual habits, to basic manners, Everything. I mean who hasn't had a left over cookie or piece of cake for breakfast one morning. However, how does that look to MK? Do I really want my 3 year old to think that Dessert is a breakfast food? Obviously not. Anyways, I think I am going to start really examining my life during my quiet time try to change so that I can truly become the type of Godly woman that I hope my daughters will grow up to be. I know it will not be easy, but I am feeling convicted. She needs to see me pray, see me read my Bible, hear me say please every time. I will keep you all updated on how this goes.